You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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