just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
