Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
