guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
