last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
