well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize