WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize