i don't plan on having that self control this summer
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
