Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
