was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
