So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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