omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
