we're chasing vodka with high fives
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
