So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
