Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Are we still banned from the library?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
