Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
