Me too!
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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