I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
