Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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