Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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