I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
