well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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