The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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