I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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