His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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