boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
