i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
