Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
