His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize