Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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