Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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