don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
