I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize