Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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