I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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