He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize