what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
even my farts smell like vagina
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
