I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
