So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
