Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
