Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
