I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
