called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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