a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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