We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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