If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
