Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
