I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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