its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
