Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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