Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you still have your period?
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
