So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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