Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
