I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
