Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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