dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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