tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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