I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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