i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
