as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
