i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
