I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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