I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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