She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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